Nobigdyl. Shadow (feat. Jesstaylo & Sarah Juers)
[Intro]
It goes dark
And it is most definitely a moment of utter disorientation
Utter lostness, no warmth, no life, no movement
[Verse 1: nobigdyl.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Love you so much that the issues I used to hold on to are nothing, they're minuscule
Love you so much that I make it up to you whenever I flip like reciprocals
Love you so much that I blocked all my exes, I blocked all the exits, I'm with you forever
Love you so much that I don't even trip when they say that I'm sick and they ridiculed
Love you so much that I gave up addiction, I stopped all the clickin', and now it's all clickin'
Love you so much that I changed my old number so all their attempts are just pitiful
Love you so much that I stopped sayin' thot
Now I see women as God's children
I see their souls and their hearts glisten
Look at them glow like they're Marge Simpson
Love you so much that I save my receipts and I watch what I eat when I'm gettin' food
Love you so much that I give up my seat even when I am beat and not in the mood
Love you so much that sometimes I lose sleep 'cause I can't come to terms with what I did to you
Love you so much that I ask God to help me smile when I'm cynical
[Chorus: Sarah Juers]
I face these passing waves
A lonely cast away
I fight my battle
Beside my shadow
[Verse 2: nobigdyl.]
Hate me so much for the pain that I caused to the ones that I truly hold dear
Hate me so much that it comes out in tears
Hate me so much I don't look in the mirror
Hate me so much that I slip into fantasies darker than Black Mirror seasons
Sometimes I feel like just leavin'
Don't need a number of reasons
Hate me so much I retreat into sleep, I'm even hidin' from Jesus
Feel like I'm livin' with demons, inside my closet, are legions
Hate me so much when I'm hurt then I'm happy 'cause I tell myself I deserve it
I'm in my bed with the serpents
And they told me that I'm worthless
Hate me so much that I don't wanna listen when you tell me I'm a good person
But you don't give up so easy, fervent, remindin' me of my purpose
Hate me so much but you're teachin' me love and I think that I'm startin' to learn it
Written in crimson and cursive, quiet and curious, perfect
[Chorus: Sarah Juers]
I face these passing waves
A lonely cast away
I fight my battle
Beside my shadow
I face these passing waves
A lonely cast away
I fight my battle
Beside my shadow