Momus Chatternooga
All aboard, woo woo!
Time to shop Steamboat Bill
A little bird said he forced his will
Upon his gentile passengers
But do not shoot the messengers
We would never side with creeps
Not even in our sleep
Unless you forced us with a gun
And even then we'd try and run
When Dionysus roamed the world
You couldn't say "fuck" but you could say "girl"
Now it's the other way around
"Girl"'s taboo but "fuck"'s allowed
And teacher said we cannot play
Until we're equal in every way
Woo woo!
We're not going to hold our breath
Wе're only equal when wе're dead
And more fool you if you don't use
The personal pronouns we've approved
We spill red wax upon your dress
The world's aboard the hell express
What turned out when we turned up
Let's all ask the jitterbug
We all shook down, we all hung up
Thanks to Emperor Tomato Ketchup
Blubberboat Bill went down to hell
In a rowing boat
Jim shacked up with Betty Bell
The captain f..cked Eskimo Nell
Come on baby let's get down
Before they lock this town
All aboard, woo woo!
The Chatternooga Choo-Choo
