Momus Born To Be Adored
I was created in the fleshpots of Araby
My mother was the Emperor's secretary
My father, a notorious libertine
Escaped from Sodom and Gomorrah, the cities of the
plain
You can read my family's rise and fall in Gibbon
I was born to be adored by women
Well Seth begat Clem and then Clem begat Ruth
And then Ruth begat me and all hell broke loose
The tribes all began to multiply and boom
And, looking at their kids, no-one knew from whom
The beautiful things kept springing
Well I was born to be adored by women
My hair is long, distinguished, prematurely grey
I've got a mouth like Ernest Hemingway's ashtray
I've fathered one hundred and three illegitimate kids
I've never met a mother I couldn't bed
I love children, spiders, snakes, and anything living
I was born to be adored by women
Some guys can erect garden furniture
That must be what God invented husbands for
But if you need a milk chocolate in the shape of a man
If you need a chunk of marzipan the size of Taiwan
Look up the chimney, see what Santa's bringing
Well I was born to be adored by women
Well I know I'm always late since my watch got sold
But I'm worth the wait, the weight in gold
After God made me, they broke the mould
And I've broken all the records with that old song
Bold girls are so fond of singing
I was born to be adored by women
Well my favourite bird is the cuckoo, punk
My favourite beast, the funky skunk
My favourite colour is the emerald green
Chuck the football king goes when his beauty queen
Comes to me when she's chucked him in
Well I was born to be adored by women
Well what I don't know about love technique
You could scribble in biro on the balls of your feet
I never wear underwear, I drive a dead beat
Landrover in my bare feet
Stark naked, there's always one more river to go swim
in
I was born to be adored by women
