Mary Prankster New Tricks
I went to years of public schools
Those education tractor-pulls
It gave me a diploma and a scar
"I want to be a star!" I cried
They said, "You're overqualified
Why don't you learn to tune your damn guitar?"
I f..cked a bunch of stupid men
Went back and f..cked 'em all again
Was never much for romance anyhow
Pressing Sunday comic art
Onto my Silly Putty heart
It doesn't break, just bends a little now
I was gonna change the world through music
I was gonna fall in love
I was gonna live the good life I'd been hearing so much of
I was gonna be a rock star, baby
I was gonna have some fun
I sure miss twenty-one
Every friend a starving artist
Argue over who's the smartest
Every contest ending in a draw
Masquerade as petty thugs
And do some psychedelic drugs
Nipping at the ankles of the law
We were gonna start a revolution
We were gonna make the scene
We were gonna marry movie stars and storm the silver screen
We were gonna write important novels
We were gonna start a band
It hasn't gone as planned
Spent more years than I remember
In a club where every member
Never feels as if he quite belongs
Searching for my pleasure in
Some brand-new kind of deadly sin
My life is just as aimless as my songs
I'm gonna make it back to college
I'm gonna quit my job
I'm gonna buy the store that I'd been planning just to rob
I'm gonna teach this old dog new tricks
Drinking from the brimming cup
As soon as I wake up
