Loudon Wainwright I Wish I Was A Lesbian
(spoken)ok, im riding around in this car with a woman im close to a couple times a week. im noticing she's looking out th window and noticing other women. how thins on looks, isn't her hair lovely? what a nice outfit. i said "babe, what is th deal!? your noticing all these other chicks. maybe... your a lesbian" she looks at me and she says "i wish i was a lesbian" now at that point, i wanted to say "you mean you wish you were a lesbian" because grumaticly(?) but i let it slide i didnt want to ruffle any feathers. but you know that sentence that retort "i wish i was a lesbian" kinda stuck in the old loggo's(?) mind. kinda guestated there for 7 8 minutes. and this tune popped out.
(sung)I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come and go,
And all that awful facial hair and yucky machis'mo!
I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero!
I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight.
I'd sleep with women only. Man, it would be great.
I can throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn't want to mate.
I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn't straight!
I wish I was a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke.
I'd sleep with k.d. lang. Mel Gibson, take a hike!
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike.
I wish I was a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke!
I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung.
It shouldn't have to matter how someone is hung.
Other things are more important- like how you use your tongue!
I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung!
I DARE Casey Kasem to play this!
i wish i was a lesbian i know it's sad but true,
and maybe i would understand you guys and all you do
but if i was a lesbian, i wouldn't have too!!
i wish i was a lesbian i know it's sad but true.
I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come and go,
And all that awful facial hair and yucky machis'mo
(I hate that damn machis'mo!)
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!
i wish i was a lesbian and not a hetero!
i wish i was a lesbian and not a hetero!
