Loudon Wainwright Iii Tonya's Twirls
You knew she was in trouble
When you saw her bodyguard
When you saw those two together
You knew it wasn't hard
To see that she was different not just one of the girls
With their gliding and their sliding
And their pirouettes and twirls
Then it turned out that she smoked and drank
& posed practically nude & she didn't smile all of the
time
She got angry & was crude
No she wasn't goody two-skates lLike all the other
girls
With their grinning andd their spinning
And their winning little twirls
And her childhood was unhappy, her mom was really weird
Her husband liked to hit her but it was poverty she
feared
She grew up in a trailer park not like most other girls
With their gliding & their sliding
& their whirling little twirls
Yes they all look like princesses like Barbies to the
core
But she was your parents' worst nightmare
The slut who moved next door
From the wrong side of the tracks
She liked the boys more than the girls
With their gliding & their sliding
& their girlish dainty twirls
And it seemed like she was lying
About what she didn't know
& then she started crying in the media side show
In practice she kept falling down more than the other
girls
With their gliding & their sliding
& their picture perfect twirls
And they almost towed her truck away
The whole thing was a drag
Forget about Campbell's soup and Reebok
Wheaties or the flag
Ah, there'll be books she'll make some money
That's what they're after all these girls
With their selling kiss & telling & their twisted
little twirls
So play the national anthem stand up proud & tall
Oh we hope that ours don't stumble & that theirs slip &
fall
Remember Olga Korbut what happens to these girls
With their triple flips & axels & somersaults & twirls
Ice used to be a nice thing when you laced up figure
skates
Now it's a thing to win a medal on for the United
States
But once there were no lutzes axels pirouettes or
twirls
Just giddy slipping sliding laughing happy little girls
