Kevin Bloody Wilson The Potato Song
Back when we was growin' up, we hung around the local pool,
Great for coolin' off in summer great for chattin' sheilas too,
And me brother had birds flockin' round him every time we went,
So I asked him what his secret was and this is what he said:
"Stick a potato down your bathers yeah that'll get 'em in,
Shove a spud inside your duds whenever you go for a swim,
Just pop a murphey down your surfies son and you'll be in like Flynn
With a potato down your bathers, yeah that'll get 'em in".
So I pissed off out the turnstiles and shot down the veggie store,
And grabbed meself a murphey would'a weighed half a pound or
more,
And I dropped it down me bathers, just like me brother said,
Then this randy little rooster turned and strutted back again.
With a potato down me bathers yeah that'll get 'em in,
A you beaut murphey down me surfies, now bring on all the women
'Cause with me swingin' in the breeze I reckoned I'd be in like Flynn
With a potato down me bathers, yeah that'll get 'em in.
I had no idea me brother's plan'd work as good as that,
'Cause when them sheilas seen it hangin' there, it stopped 'em in
their tracks
'Cause it was bulgin' like a bastard as I strutted by the pool,
And I just grabbed it squeezed it winked and said "Hey check me out
I'm cool".
With a potato down me bathers yeah that'll get 'em in,
A whoppin' murphey down me surfies hey girls cop a load'a this,
With that spud shoved down me duds I thought that I was in like
Flynn
With a potato down me bathers yeah that'll get 'em in.
Eyes were poppin' out like golf balls as a sheila stopped and stared,
And the blokes up in the grand stand all whistled clapped and
cheered
But me brother weren't too happy when he found out what I'd done
he said
"You f..ckin' little wanker you're supposed to stick it down the front".
Jesus now look what's happened f..ck you all the sheilas'a shot
through,
And I'll never face me mates again f..ckin' thanks to you,
I oughta duck ya f..ck ya drown ya, ring your f..ckin' neck
'Cause that potato down your bathers is supposed to be your dick.
Yeah that potato down your bathers is supposed to be your dick,
Around the front not round the back how f..ckin' stupid can you get?
You got it hangin' in your cossies like a f..ckin' lump'a shit,
That potato down your bathers is supposed to be your dick".
Oh
