Kevin Bloody Wilson Nothing Funnier Than A Fart
We were bathin' our twin grandsons, they were only six months old,
We towled 'em down and powdered 'em up when one of 'em let one
go,
And with a puff'a baby powder, and a twinkle in his eye,
He turned to his little brother as if to say, "How clever am I?"
Nothin' funnier than a fart, nothin' like a fart to get you laughin',
And the more laughed, the more he farted
Ones pissin' 'emselves one's little ring barkin', nothin' funnier than a
fart.
And when they grow up they'll be like normal kids and learn to swap
farts at school,
Where he who farts the loudest is considered pretty cool,
Just the sound of a fart from under your arm'll have a class full'a kids
in fits,
Stampedin' towards the window, just in case it stinks.
Nothin' funnier than a fart, nothin' like a fart to get you laughin'
And the more you laugh, the more you fart
But them silent ones still got the bastards,
Nothin' funnier than a fart.
Even fartin' on your own can be good fun, particularly of you're sittin'
in the bath,
Capturin' the bubbles in your two cupped hands while you try and
sniff your own farts,
Hmm smells like last night's pizza, mixed with lunchtime's beer and
chips,
But to anybody else's untrained nose it smells like shit.
Or fartin' competitions with the missus, hahaha, we've all done that,
Layin' naked in bed with a blanket on your head, fartin' tit for tat,
'Til you squeeze out a fartin' gravy, and you're thinkin', Jesus Christ,
Then you nudge your missus say come love it's half-time swap sides.
Or an ol' bloke sittin' in an ol' folks home can't trust a sneeze no
more,
Bound to trigger the try factor, snot piss and shit and all,
But you can see him chucklin' himself, hahaha, 'cause he couldn't
give a f..ck,
Don't matter if he farts and shits himself someone else has gotta
clean it up.
Nothin' funnier than a fart, nothin' like a fart to get you laughin',
And the more you laugh, the more you fart
A simple sneeze'll start a shit tsunami, nothin' funnier than a fart.
So there you go from 'go' to 'whoa', fartin's a part'a life,
Even the pope and the queen and Kylie Monogue all gotta fart
sometimes,
So rebus this day'a our daily gas and thank you God for the laughs,
Proves you got a sense'a humor I reckon.
Nothin' funnier than a fart, nothin' like a fart to get you laughin',
And the more you laugh, the more you fart,
God give you that gas to just blow it out your ass
And if you wanna show off, try lightin' the bastard, nothin' funnier
than a fart.
Nothin' funnier than a fart.
Nothin' funnier than a fart.
