Kevin Bloody Wilson My Grandfather's Cock
My Grandfather's cock was an itsy bitsy dicky and it
hardly took up any room at all.
Had a head and a neck, but jesus christ by heck you
should have seen the size of Grandad's balls.
He had a horn on the morn' of the day that he was born
and 'though it was erect you couldn't see.
'Cause my Grandfather's cock was a pissy little pisser
but his
clangers they were hanging to his knees.
A tiny wee appendage... (not a cock not a cock)
An inch from end to end it's... (not a cock, not a
cock)
Just a stump, short, like a tiny little wart
On the old, man's, nuts.
Well my Grandfather's cock was a huge mother f..cker and
his
Pecker was erect or so to say.
And you should have seen the head, you should have seen
the neck
Used to take me for a wrestle in the hay.
Had a head like a steer nothin' 'tween the f..ckin'
ears,
You should have seen that god damn neck.
Like a giant of a man, with a pumpkin in his hands,
Get that pumpkin f..ckin' pumpin' near to death.
You should have seen that darn thing... (what a cock,
what a cock)
Rearin' like a mustang... (what a cock, what a cock)
It was wild, mean, oiled up in his jeans
Woop 'er tail let 'er out and let 'er ride.
Well my Grandfather's cock was just average for an
aussie,
Weighed I s'pose 30, 40 pounds.
And overall his old fella was just a couple of inches,
Just a couple of inches from draggin' on the ground.
Had a vein in it's neck like a f..ckin' opera singer,
And a head like an old school bell.
And a pair of leather knackers like a ringers saddle
bags,
Picked up ribbons at the royal show as well.
Fair dinkum mate I kid you not... (what a cock, what a
cock)
Just an average aussie cock... (what a cock what a
cock)
And he still, ploughs, an acre everyday
Crawlin' 'round on his hands and his knees.
