Kevin Bloody Wilson Dicktaphone
HELLO OPERATOR. ID LIKE TO MAKE A CALL
CAN I HAVE 477 3104?
IM SORRY SIR, COULD YOU REPEAT THAT NUMBER ONCE AGAIN?
477 3104, DID YA GET IT THEN?
COULD YOU SPEAK A LITTLE SLOWER? 477S ALL I GOT
3104, ARE YOU BLOODY DEAF OR WHAT?
LOOK, I GOT THE FIRST BIT, BUT I JUST CANT GET THE LAST
WELL STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
YOURE SUPPOSED TO f..ckIN HELP, NOT MAKE IT f..ckIN HARD
IM JUST TRYIN TO MAKE A CALL, BUT YOURE JUST BEING
SMART
SO YOU CAN STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
GOOD MORNING IM FROM TELECOM, COME TO DISCONNECT YOUR
PHONE
FOR A BREACH OF REGULATIONS JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO
YOU UPSET OUR OPERATOR WITH A PRETTY NASTY CALL
WHAT ARE YOU f..ckIN ON ABOUT? IT WAS ALL HER f..ckIN
FAULT!
WELL SHE CLAIMS THAT IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT, SHE REALLY
WAS DISTRESSED
WHAT ABOUT YOUR CUSTOMERS, SHE UPSET ME FIRST!
WEVE GOT HER WRITTEN STATEMENT, WHICH SHORTLY WILL BE
READ
BUT IT MIGHT HELP IF YOUD RECALL EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID
I SAID
STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
YOURE SUPPOSED TO f..ckIN HELP, NOT MAKE IT f..ckIN HARD
IM JUST TRYIN TO MAKE A CALL, BUT YOURE JUST BEING
SMART
SO YOU CAN STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
WELL THATS NOT EXACTLY ON SIR, ITS JUST NOT ON AT ALL
YOU MUST USE COMMON ETIQUETTE IF YOU WISH TO MAKE A
CALL
AND PLEASE AND THANK YOU ALSO HELP, YOU CANT TALK TO
HER LIKE THAT
PLEASE AND f..ckIN THANK YOU WELL YOU f..ckIN TELL HER
THAT!
AND SHE KNOWS WITHOUT A TELEPHONE IM REALLY IN THE SHIT
WELL PERHAPS IF YOUD APOLOGISE THAT JUST MIGHT HELP A
BIT
APOLOGISE? APOLOGISE? APOLOGISE TO WHO?
JUST GO IN AND ASK FOR OPERATOR 42
GOOD MORNING, ARE YOU WAITING? IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN
DO?
YES, ID LIKE TO SPEAK TO OPERATOR 42
IM SORRY SIR, I MISSED THAT, COULD YOU REPEAT WHAT YOU
JUST SAID?
AH SHIT! I DONT BELIEVE IT! HERE WE f..ckIN GO AGAIN!
OPERATOR 42, LOOK ILL JUST WRITE IT DOWN
OH OPERATOR 42, ILL SEE IF SHES AROUND
JEEZ, THEYRE BLOODY USELESS, IM SURE THAT THEYRE ALL
DEAF
NO WONDER THAT I DID ME QUINCE, NO WONDER THAT I SAID
STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
YOURE SUPPOSED TO f..ckIN HELP, NOT MAKE IT f..ckIN HARD
IM JUST TRYIN TO MAKE A CALL, BUT YOURE JUST BEING
SMART
SO YOU CAN STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
NOW THEYLL MAKE ME SIT AROUND AND WAIT ALL BLOODY DAY
JUST SO THEY CAN MAKE ME SWEAT AND HAVE THE FINAL SAY
THATS LIKE THE PUBLIC SERVICEM THEY MAKE YOU SCRAPE AND
BBOW
ARRGGHH SHIT! SHES f..ckIN UGLY, IF THATS HER COMING
NOW!
IM OPERATOR 42, IM BUSY, MAKE IT FAST
DID A BLOKE TELL YOU TO STICKTHAT f..ckIN PHONE RIGHT UP
YOUR ARSE?
YES HE DID, THE FILTHY ANIMAL, I REMEMBER NOW
WELL YOUD BETTER f..ckIN BRACE YOURSELF CAUSE THEYRE
BRINGING IT AROUND!!
STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
YOURE SUPPOSED TO f..ckIN HELP, NOT MAKE IT f..ckIN HARD
IM JUST TRYIN TO MAKE A CALL, BUT YOURE JUST BEING
SMART
SO YOU CAN STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
YOURE SUPPOSED TO f..ckIN HELP, NOT MAKE IT f..ckIN HARD
IM JUST TRYIN TO MAKE A CALL, BUT YOURE JUST BEING
SMART
SO YOU CAN STICK THAT f..ckIN PHONE, UP YOUR f..ckIN ARSE
