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Sperm Test Lyrics


John Cooper Clarke Sperm Test




More on the sick
Down in the dumps
I went to the clinic
What about these lumps
Do you wear tight knickers
Have you ever had the mumps
Can't give it a rest
Break out the Lucozade
Make it the best
I'm engaged to my
Sperm test

The clinical arrangement
No phony bon-amie
Gleaming apparatus
Complete autonomy
Cynical estrangements don't bother me
Germ breed, negative mess
The rubber gloves called cold caress
Tells me I'm in love with my
Sperm test



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