John Cooper Clarke Bronze Adonis
She didn't like the rib cage / the coat-hanger hips
The razor-sharp shoulder blades / always give her jip
She's reading Edward De Bono under the palms
He sprays Odorono under his arms
I was to say the least alarmed
When the bronze adonis got her...
I lay beneath the parasol / watched him with the chicks
Horsing around with his aerosol / they whispered about his odd trick
"Send no cash... fear no man / you can be a love leviathan"
She's a fan of the man with a tan from a can
The bronze adonis got her
Mr and Mrs Universe / the folks who live in the gym
Each night she sleeps in a room marked her / he sleeps in a room marked him
Muscle bound for stardom / the apollo of your eye
Can't seem to get a hard on / oh Christ i wonder why
The bronze adonis got her
They honeymoon on muscle beach to cries of "beat it mac"
He plucks some puny pansy's peach / how do you like that
The bronze adonis got her
There stands the body gorgeous / men worship girls admire
He bravely bears the scourges and the squelch of squashed desire
What a physical jerk / no time for sex
Where's me bleedin' bullworker, baby oil and leopard kecks
Oh yeah / the bronze adonis got her
Hubba hubba yum yum wow / what a hunk of beef
Who made you the sacred cow / who hangs around his briefs
In the corner sauna / with his mates
Wanking away unwanted weight
That's his idea of a heavy date
The bronze adonis got her
