Jim Morris Roadkill Maintenance Man
Now he got stabbed by the biggest knife
I think I've ever seen in my life
Lying by the side of the road in a pool of blood
A big ol'semi came along
Ran over his head, now half his face is gone
The poor old corpse got squashed and buried in the mud
Three or four hot August days go by
And some buzzards come down from the sky
And begin to eat his nose and pick his bones
Now I'm a pro, but I'd be remiss
Not to feel remorse when people die like this
But why'd the bossman send me out here alone
CHORUS:
And I don't want to be any roadkill maintenance man
Just spending my days in some buzzard's fantasyland
I'd rather do the evening news and make about a hundred grand
No, I don't want to be any roadkill maintenance man
I should have given more thought to medical school
Or corporate law or something equally cool
I'm up to my ears in lizards and gizzards and bones
And you know it's really hard to impress the girls
When your job consists of scrapping up squirrels
And you know they pay people to pretend they're
Having sex with Sharon Stone
Now how do you get that job?
CHORUS
And I don't want to be any roadkill maintenance man
Spending my days in some buzzard's fantasyland
I'd rather be a porno star, getting laid whenever I can
No, I don't want to be any roadkill maintenance
Don't want to be any roadkill maintainance
No, I don't want to be any roadkill maintenance man
No sir, not me
