Janis Ian Cosmopolitan Girl
I was only twenty-nine and lonely as a bull moose in heat when he came along, singing that same old song I said, You know I'm entering my prime Thirty-one to thirty-nine Bet you've read the articles, too Statistically speaking, my hormones are creeping I can feel them moving in the night But like the articles say - I am woman I can wait until it's right
I want to be a cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan girl Take half a dozen lovers, teach them what i've seen in between the covers of my favorite magazine I want to read statistics, plan logistics Live my life to the hilt without shame, without pain, without guilt
I hit thirty waiting for my endocrines to match the questionnaires He grew impatient. I said - I'm saving myself Meantime, let's do some therapy Take a course in co-dependency and while we're at it, you could lose some weight We've got so much to share - no, don't touch me there What's another year between friends? The wait will be worth it I'm bound to be perfect by then
I want to be a cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan girl I'm reading Kama Sutra - I bought it on cassette I found a chiropractor who can limber up my neck I want that first time flawless, really lawless Want to enjoy it to the hilt without shame, without pain, without guilt
The big day finally came There was a note on the door It said - Here's a little something to remember me by I've fallen for a waitress who accepts her cellulite
This is a cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan gift And I know that you'll appreciate it when you think of me all those empty nights while you're protecting your virginity This gift is flawless, this gift is cordless so enjoy it to the hilt without shame, without pain, without guilt without shame, without pain, without guilt No shame, no pain, no guilt
