Inhansed Open Letter
[Verse 1]
People disappearing along with the things around me
Feeling like I took the shit as far as God's allowed me
I been lost can't find my way, no one ever found me
The beat is f..cking hounding, and I feel like I'm drowning
I don't know what it is, man, I think I hit a pitfall
Yeah, I stand tall, but I hate these f..cking brick walls
It's like they're closing in with every line from this pen
Wonder why it's taken months to drop some solo shit again
I been sitting in my sins, failures almost all I'm thinking 'bout
And it's cliche, but I really need these demons out
Inside I'm screaming now, can't figure why or how
I got this self-hate again, and this shit is seeping out
Blurry vision, all I see are dreams of people killing me
And I can't open up 'cause I don't know if y'all are feeling me
It only gets harder as long as time goes
Sinking underwater, it feels as eyes close
[Verse 2]
And I been thinking 'bout my dad, reminisce on what I never had
Never saw a hand, but I ain't even really f..cking mad
But it's f..cked that you picked drugs over love
And I don't want a f..cking thing 'cause it won't be enough
Learn from your past, learn from what you've done
This is blunt, but you should've learned from your dead son
Layed out on the rocks while you're roaming in the streets
And I wonder what would happen if he ever knew me
I just think, honestly, that you're f..cking embarrassed
Having me for a son; I got you as a parent, but
Homie, it's apparent, you ain't even a father
You're a sperm donor, how you left me and my mama
I tried to work it out, but, f..cker, I'm done
You ruined any chance of even f..cking knowing your son
So don't try to call 'cause he ain't picking up the phone
Like you've done for my whole life, leave me alone
[Verse 3]
Now I can't f..cking breathe, and I'm down on my knees
Trying to get a little bit of air, suffocating
It's what this stress has been doing, from the pressure of moving
To the strain of a career, my mind is in ruins
I know I keep on saying that I f..cking hate complaining
But believe me, I am real in every one of these statements
Can pain be more blatant, do I scream for help?
How the f..ck do I explain I need saving from myself?
Honestly, I wanna die, all I see is black and grey
It's like everything is night, I can't see the f..cking day
But when I reach a f..cking page, I put this confidence on
And that's what you're hearing in these past few songs
'Cause it's like I can't begin to f..cking write about my brain
'Cause the thoughts are so sparattic, I delete the f..cking page
I don't need some f..cking space, I just wanna feel better
But I feel like I can't be, so here's this open letter