London Stories: Polish Officer Story Lyrics

Groucho Marx London Stories: Polish Officer Story

When I was over in London, some years ago - I did a
quizshow over there for a while. It wasn't too succesful,
but the...eh...the American ambassador, he liked me,
because I used to be funny and crack jokes. Jackie
Onassis' sister, Radziwill, you may have seen her, she's
been on TV a few times. She's a very pretty girl, and she
had a husband, who was Polish. He was well over four
feet, and I told him a story. This is the story:

It's about a hooker. You all know what that is, I guess.
I'm sure that sometime in your life, somebody has seen
one. It was a story about a girl who picks up a Pole, and
takes him home, and feeds him, gets him dinner. They go
to bed that night, have a great time. Next morning she
helps him get dressed, puts on his uniform with his big
epaulets hanging on, and he starts to leave. Then she
says "Just a monment, what about money?", and he says "A
Polish officer doesn't accept money."