Flanders & Swann The Wompom
You can do such a lot with a wompom.
You can use every part of it, too.
For work or for pleasure, it's a triumph and a
treasure.
Oh, there's nothing that a wompom cannot do.
Now the thread from the peel of a wompom
Has the warmth and resilience of wool.
You need never wash or brush it, it's impossible to
crush it,
And it shimmers like the finest sort of tool.
So our clothes are made from the wompom:
Modern gowns, sportswear and lingerie.
They are waterproof and plastic. Where it's needed,
they're elastic,
And they emphasise the figure, as you see.
Hail to thee, blithe wompom,
All providing plant!
Hail to thee, blithe wompom,
Universal Aunt.
You can shave with the rind of a wompom,
And it acts as a soapless shampoo,
And the root in little doses keeps you free from
halitosis.
Oh, there's nothing that a wompom cannot do.
Now the thick inner shell of a wompom
Can be moulded with a finger and a thumb.
Though soft when you begin it, it will set as hard as
granite
And is quite as light as aluminium.
So we make what we like from the wompom,
And it proves very useful indeed.
From streets full of houses, to the buttons on your
trousers,
With the wompom, you have every thing you need.
Hail to thee, blithe wompom!
Gladly we salute
Burly...
Philanthropic fruit.
Oh the outer leaf of a wompom
Makes the finest Havana cigar.
And its bottom simply bristles with unusual looking
thistles.
We haven't yet discovered what they are.
You can do such a lot with a wompom.
You can use every part of it, too.
For work or for pleasure, it really is a treasure.
Oh, there's nothing that a wompom cannot do.
Oh, the flesh in the heart of a wompom
Has the flavour of porterhouse steak;
And its juice is a liquor that will get you higher
quicker
And you're still lit up next morning when you wake.
Hail to thee, blithe wompom! Let your voices ring.
Hail to thee, blithe wompom! Ever more to ring.
To record what is what in a wompom
Needs a book twice as big as Who's Who.
I could tell you more and more about this fascinating
flora.
Oh, there's nothing that a wompom cannot do.
You can shape. It you can square it .
You can drape it. You can wear it.
You can ice it. You can dice it. You can pare it. You
can slice it.
Oh, there's nothing that a wompom cannot do.
