Ethan Jewell Eyes
I always liked how your eyes looked at me
Piercing, warm, gentle, they had seen so much
Witnessed pain, walls falling, people breaking
But then, after everything, they chose to look at
Me
I guess I couldn't handle being in the spotlight
So now I drag my feet when I walk
Not because I have a wounded leg
But because sometimes it all feels just too heavy
To pick my shoes from the ground
And my head is spinning 'round
Shadows whisper at me from the streetlamp in the corner
"You know what you have to do"
"And you know what you have to prove"
"And you know who you have to soothe"
"Just do what you have to do"
I don't like the way I treat myself, but I can't stop
I look in the mirror, shatter the glass, repeat day in and day out
Get a new mirror
This mirror is different than the rest
She loves me, treats me well
Tells me I look beautiful despite the bags under my eyes
Despite the scars on my skin
Despite the numbness of my touch
Yet despite all of this
I still smashed it
I still broke that mirror, and left it shattered pieces on the ground
For it to try to glue itself back together
How can I ever look myself in a mirror again after what I did?
How can I pick my feet up while I walk after the weight that lays in my shoes?
How can I ever start a garden?
Because apparently, I wanna destroy everything beautiful in my life
Apparently, I wanna rip apart flower petals
I wanna step on roses
I wanna tear apart dandelions, and rip everything up from the roots
The second a flower blooms within me
I deprive it of light and water
And watch it wilt
Why can't I let the beauty in my life flourish?
Why didn't I hold that flower gently?
Protect it from this harsh, harsh world
Nurture it, and water it
Tell that flower she's beautiful, every single day
Instead of plucking apart its petals
And leaving it in the dirt
