Epic Rap Battles Of History Alexander The Great Vs Ivan The Terrible
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
ALEXANDER THE GREAT
VS!
IVAN THE TERRIBLE!
BEGIN!
Look alive
Crème de la Kremlin's arriving
Try to serve Ivan
No surviving
You're a land rover, I'm a land expander
Here to hand you your first loss, Alexander
I'll school you like Aristotle
Smack you harder than you hit that bottle
You're nothing but an overrated lush, I'll crush ya
I'm the first Tsar of all of Russia
You're an asshole with an anastole
I'm heaven sent, divine and holy
So don't even try to approach the God
Or you'll get a huge sack like Novgorod
Hey fella, swell diss
But now you got the Panhellenist from Pella hella pissed
Stepping up's foolish as well as useless
Little Vasilyevich, let me spell out the list
I brought foes to their knees in Phoenicia
Breezed through Gaza to Giza
Had the Balkans, Persia, Syria, Iraq and Pakistan
In my expansion pack
While you died in the middle of a game of chess
You got vodka bars, flavorless
And what I'm about to spit will be the craziest
So go fix me a drink so I can stay refreshed
Kudos! Greek for the glory I got
From winning every single war that I fought
So this will be straight forward, I'll take up this sword that I brought
And slice you in half like the Gordian knot
And I'll soar to the top like the eagle whose feather I would sport in the helmet that I wore
As I swatted my many enemies, shattered 'em like a porcelain pot
And they'd be praying for the torture to stop
But I would leave 'em contorted and they'd be screaming and roaring
Until their vocal chords were torn up and shot
And I would holler Bucephalus!
Hop on my horsey and trot
I win Ivan, I vanquish
I'm an immortal, you're not
“Old Fritz, old fritz!— Epic Rap Battles of History
