Eddie From Ohio Very Fine Funeral
Wednesday morning my Aunt Sarah died.
Not many had known her,
Not many had tried.
There at the funeral we all sat and lied
Said how much we missed her.
You want to know about Sarah
Where do I begin?
She had this growth to the left of her chin.
Let's all be honest, she was ugly as sin
No one recalled having kissed her.
(CHORUS)
But the choir sang and the family wept
The preacher preached and the children slept
We all wore black and we paid our respects
And all in all it was a very fine funeral.
We stood at the grave for a minute or two
Straight-faced and solemn like good mourners do
But we all felt relieved when we heard Uncle Lou
Stand up and say, "That's enough, I'm freezin'."
Sarah was never the neighborly kind
Sure, she had a mean streak ten miles wide
But the truth was, she smelled just like something died
Now she's got a reason.
[CHORUS x2]
