Cretin Dirt Eater
Everyday you'll find her out there
Crouched down on her knees
Rain or shine she spends some time
Yet her yard is full of weeds
One day while watching from my window
And much to my surprise
I found out her dirty secret
She tried so hard to hide
Normal by all appearances
No one would suspect
The nice old woman from next door
Is a filthy wretch
She fingers through the soil
And she picks the pebbles out
Then scoops up a spoonful
And pops it in her mouth
Consuming clumps of earth
She gobbles clots of dirt
The grit and grime she eats
Gets caught between her teeth
[Guitar solo: Martinez]
Scarfing scum and mulch and muck
A frantic feasting binge
She stuffs her withered cheeks so full
Mud dribbles down her chin
She shovels gravel in her face
And swallows every bit
I'll bet you that it hurts like hell
When she takes a shit
Consuming clumps of earth
She gobbles clots of dirt
The grit and grime she eats
Gets caught between her teeth
