Brobdingnagian Bards A Prudent Thief
A prudent thief should never drink so much that he
becomes bold.
Because a thief who boasts and brags will rarely live
to grow old.
For silence is a thief's best bet and if he breaks this
etiquette.
Undoubtedly what he will get...will be more trouble
than gold.
Consider Zhele a thief from Greel, who drank at the
Swan and Grouse.
He made himself quite popular by buying rounds for the
house.
One night in drunken revelry, he made a bet with
prideful glee,
But later on he would agree...he never should've been
soused.
A thief's best friends are luck and speed, alertness,
cunning and stealth.
And ale can cause these all to flee and cheat a thief
of his wealth.
But add to this a drunken dare to steal a lock of the
Empress' hair,
Then even a fool should be aware...this may be bad for
your health.
So Zhele did stumble through the door in his most
fearless state.
He slipped in shadows past the guard and snuck through
the palace gate.
Then giggling he scaled the wall so drunk he thought he
could not fall.
For wasn't he the best of all...and surely favored by
Fate.
As he climbed in he saw a girl who was dressed in cloth
not fur.
A palace maid? Perhaps a cook? T'was difficult to be
sure.
A homely lass she did appear, but anyone looks good
through beer,
So when she asked, "Why are you here?"...he said he was
there for her.
He showered her with compliments for flattery was his
skill.
And so they spent a pleasant time as any young couple
will.
But as the dawn lit their embrace, he recognized the
lady's face
From every golden coin it graced...and suddenly he felt
ill.
He'd heard that drink was dangerous and now he knew for
a fact.
For theives caught in the palace were hanged or
stretched upon a rack.
But as this thief was kind and bold, the empress gifted
him with gold.
(Then the guard made sure that he'd been told...he'd be
killed if he ever came back.)
And so he was a thief no more for that was part of the
deal.
His bet was lost because she gave him what he went
there to steal.
So other thieves may scorn and mock his name and tale
but still they flock
For a drink and a look at the Empresses Lock... the
finest tavern in Greel.
