Blindman's Holiday Boots Of Persuasion
On the day that Crazy Tony Shaved off all his hair He swore he would get a tattoo So we drove downtown in dad's company car Parked at the parlor near the Philly Zoo He asked the man for a life-size AC outlet Tattooed on the back of his head But the power went down Just as he picked up his needle We spent the money on drugs instead Hey Mister Twister, what you got for sale Where's the stuff you sold my sister When she last jumped bail She was high on speed and Hawaiian sinse We had to peel her off the back Of the backstop fence Just as she was on the verge of Losing it completely She came down to us and whispered sweetly She whispered, "mm stad, stada, mm stad stada, stad" He sold us sixteen doses, pictures of the King Went tripping by the riverside We were underneath the bridge Launching Roman candles From a bottle of Banker's Club Rye But then greasy Tony got busted He was half-baked and thoroughly stoned Took off all his clothes Except his socks and his sneakers Screamin' at the top of his lungs And for a minute, I thought he couldn't make it Then the car stopped up on the bridge Sayin' isn't it a pity, but that's what happens When you take too many drugs At such a tender age He was all strung out on Dexatrim and doses And he walked into the water like Holy Moses We're singing, "Holy Moses, Holy Moses yeah" "So dang me dang me, Take a rope and hang me" If I go back to that one horse town Can't you see how much I promised On the second hand news If I lose I can't face the deflation I'm living on credit Trading on lies And walking in the boots of persuasion
