Bizzy Crook 13 Reasons Why
[Verse: BZZY]
Who going to miss me when I die?
Suicide on my mind, there's 13 reasons why
Who going to miss me when I'm gone?
Hannah baker they'll play my shit when I'm gone
Who's going to miss me when I die?
Suicide on my mind, there's 13 reasons why
Who's going to miss me when I'm gone?
I miss the days when I used to smoke without tripping
I miss the days when I used to sleep without thinking
The good old days when I used to talk and you'd listen
The nights where I could have a good time without drinking
Trying to save the world is like a suicide mission
I used to think getting money would get a lot different
Depression still around is just easier now to deal with it
Because once you're getting money it's easier to conceal it
But there is not a truth that time won't reveal
At 10 years old I thought of shooting myself
When mom and dad‘s fights we're getting more physical
The bruises I wore to school we're getting more visible
I hate that growing up I hated my dad
I couldn't even watch cartoons without making him mad
I wish we had more time to find the time that we lacked
I wish I got less punches and more pats on the back
I wish we could've kicked it like friends instead of breaking into your room and stealing guns to feel like the man
I try to join the bloods so they can come for you and D told me nah youngin this shit is not for you
Now that I'm older I could see it through
I'm your son, I got your demons too
And dad I know you try to make it right
But dad a lot of shit you put me through scarred me for life
Like, like you to reason that I'm still timid
Like, you are the reason that hot temper is still in him
Domestic violence, cheating and f..cking other women
13 years later my momma still with him
That's a touchy subject let me get up off it
I started off with a lot of friends, I wonder where they all went
Niggas is blaming me for their failures now, like it's my fault they on they grandma's couch
When all I tried to do was show you out
Before you turned your back that's the shit you should've thought about
I took Niggas on tour with me, they ain't starve with me, they ain't sleep on the floor with me
I have room, came back and brought more with me
Once I started getting more, they just more envy
One by one they started switching up and saying how they never needed luck
They tell their side of the story
I stay silent because that says enough
My depression goes for the back then I could recall
I change your life and you don't pick the phone up when I call?
All those flights on my credit card, yeah I took a loss
I don't recall when they burn a bridge and they've got to cross
Ain't no loving a jealous crew
I never expected that shit from you
After all the shit that we've been through
How are you running with Niggas that want to see my mom I lose
How you sellin' inside stories to outsiders
Dark times my inner light shines brighter
Suicide on my mind I'm really going under
Back stabbed by the Niggas I considered brothers
Hold up, this girl is not my baby‘s mother
More or less like a friend of hers, I've fallen for her
Condoms in my pocket
Thoughts full of guilt
I knew this shit would end up bad but I did it still
Selfish of me I'm so f..cking selfish
I'm a piece of shit I can't f..cking help it
Don't feel bad I'm f..cked up
I've seen the two women I love exchange awkward hugs
And only one knew about the other one
I keep it real with bitches and lie to the one I love
And I'm the one that's always preaching karma
Gender revealed that I'm having a daughter
I wish I could stay to be involved but there's just too much dirt on my hands to wash it off
I want to say f..ck it, I'm torn Latoya Luckett
Chasing after Fame but I hide my soul in public
My introvert just make shit worse I can't tell you how I feel and that's what makes shit worse
I done tried a couple drugs but ain't shit work but alcohol is the poison I prefer
I'm sorry Natalie, Wendy, Rosa, and Winnie too
Marcy, Brenda, Gypsy and Tina too
I'm sorry you were the vessel I formed my demons through
I used to tell you, I loved you
You wouldn't hear
And then we broke up and you went deaf in one ear
Karma is real if the messaging ain't clear
I know that way too well that's my only fear
Damn, how did I end up here?
Pistol on my lap I know the end is near
I'm sorry mama, I'm just cleaning out my closet
I'm sorry that I stole jewelry out your closet
And then I went and pawned it and went and bought a gun to make profits
When I was 15 I pimped my cousin out
What the f..ck was I thinking about?
Young nigga had a broken soul
Or maybe I just grew up in a broken home
It was hard to sleep with all the fuss and fights
So I would stay up and I would dream at night
I used to tell my little sister it would be alright
I wish I was right
No we've grown apart
And I don't call enough
My mom is on the phone begging us to keep in touch
That's my little sister, heard she's drinking too much
My cousin said her depression is getting worrisome
My mom is like hurry son
This is 13 reasons I gave you 31
All the shit on my mind that's why I've got to jump
This shit eats me alive that's why I gotta jump