Antsy Pants Sometimes
Sometimes I dream I'm a millionaire
With jewels, champagne, and things to0 fair
A very big apartment that belongs to me
And a nice and sporty car to drive in the city
Which color do you have?
"Red and Blue."
Can you stick ? on the way?
"Up to you."
Does this car drive fast?
"Yes, sir, it's the fastest we've got."
Sometimes I dream I'm a true lover
One look in the eye and then drinks up you sir
Each and every chick falling at my heal
The can of guys bein' civil then come in sick
There you go, have a drink
"It's okay."
Come to my bedroom we'll have a lay
"I have a boyfriend."
So what about a blow job?
"It doesn't sound like a problem.."
Sometimes I dream ballet dancer
That kind of dancer you would remember
I'll do pirouettes, and I shatte
Training by a mad man who'll be totally gay
Sir my back hurts
"Force your legs"
Can I have this ice cream with peanuts?
"Certainly not!"
Will I be the Prima Ballerina?
"Not with that fat body of yours!"
Sometimes I dream I work at the video store
With my feet on the counter all day
watching porn
I hope my boss doesn't walk through the door
My eyes are full of bad
and my mouth full of popcorn.
Oh no! Here he comes..
"What's going on in here?"
I thought that anaconda was about a snake!
"I've been paying you for this!?"
You can't fire me, I quit!
"You can't quit, you're FIRED!!"
Sometimes I dream I'm a fisherman
who capture a white whale, so it will be my friend
We'll sail at sea together
and we'll never part
So wide is my pet so I'll need a bowl
Hey Bart, let's go and free Willy
"Okay, dude!"
Invite some jellyfish and laugh about it
"That sounds good"
How does it feel to have a blow hole?
"Feels like I'm a pretty strange animal!"
Sometimes I dream I sell fireworks
To thousands of patriotic jerks
And as they drive away
I have to smirk
Because I sold them crap that doesn't work.
Hey guys, are you syked for the 4th of July?
(Cheering in agreement)
God bless America, right?
"USA! USA!"
Have fun at your party
(sound of a lighter) "Aw.."
Suckers.
