Holy Flakes Lyrics

Andy Gullahorn Holy Flakes

On top of a dusty shelf in a small town grocery were boxes of some store brand flakes that hadn’t sold in years.
The manager that transferred in with marketing degrees thought he could sell that cereal with his big fresh ideas.
He found a picture of the pope and when he got it scanned, used photoshop to take a spoon and put it in his hand.
Then a bubble with a caption of what the pope was trying to say,
If you’re a Christian act like one and eat your Holy Flakes.
Holy Flakes, Holy Flakes.
Holy Holy Holy, Holy Flakes.

The same old folks came in that week to get their raisin bran.
They all felt convicted when they saw the holy man so they filled their carts up with John Paul instead of stuff they liked.
They thought it was their duty as the good God fearing kind.
(Chorus)
And the Holy Flakes sold so well they couldn’t keep them on the shelf so they diversified.
Soon there were Sacred Chips, Virgin Mary Chicken Strips and Prince of Peace Apple Pie.
It doesn’t matter if it has no taste cause its all in the name.
Soon they had a one brand town with pantries all the same.
It left them with no appetite for stuff that broke the mold and a faith that was as shallow as the milk left in the bowl of Holy Flakes.