Ayo, this is AK Donovan Goin' on and on again About the stuff they done again Pissing off my mum again Now my site's updated, I'm a smoke me a fag By which I mean a cigarette, you Americans, THATS BAD
Do I look like f..cking Cecil Well, rah I wish that I did Cos he's a handsome devil And I've have, like, better looking kids Only joking, my unborn spawn. You're gonna be hot! Unless I smoke too many reefers and my cock drops off
Anyway, back to the point, which is me, A-T-D Adam N-A-R-K-I-E-W-I-C-Zee Ex CV on my CV Used to represent NBC, but The boys from the band and the girl from the band Well they do not talk to me You see, they blew me off, cos they're all toffs Or maybe really I forgot The reason they was pissed was that I went solo and murked off to Merkinland to sign the dotted like with the swine I swored to swot I stole the DJ, missed some gigs Now I'm back on th everloving cigs
Cos I'm a hypocrite Right up in the thick of it Weed plus tobacco smoke, sweet like liquorice Look at this Fucking up again, it's unsightly Just like me That's why I have to do the right thing like I was Spike Lee
I keep it hidden like the ark of the covenant But I told more lies than the motherfucking government Now where your mother went? I need to ask about that ark Cos I can't be kept in the dark
Now the ark was made of shtting wood. No shitting. Blood keeps dripping in the kitchen and I'm bitching But I really should probably not be a popstar. Might serve more use training as a doctor Or maybe like a cop bra My pop says that I should quit, he's like... "You can't change shit with a hit, you tit" And I admit that my chosen career is steeped in vanity Humanity comes second, rah I'm questioning my sanity
Granmamma be right Profanity cannae be excused Neither rouses to twos up your salary But Valerie, way back in that valley, she said I would be causing a calamity I'M CAUSING A CALAMITY!!!
S'ah, Fuck egality I'd rather be Rameses Falluses Start building palaces on top of where Dallas is
Alice is right down that rabbit hole And I'm in there with her I'm all a quiver But I really ain't got nothin' to give her Except for all of the love in the world I'll tell her chuck yer fella and I'll never ever want another girl
Cos I'm a hypocrite Lier and a hypocrite Fistfull of twattery I'm gonna stick my dick in it I bet that you can batter me It's more than likely I'm like the Orlando Bloom to Kiera Knightly
Scrapin' at the bottom of the rap barrel I'll be the new Chevy Chase, so f..ck Will Ferrell Slag you off for starting quarrels on my site every night Then I'm the first to be like, "Why?" when this spite ignites fight Sight's limited
I like to say I rule, but I best not There's a reason Jeres called me a 'Myopic Little Despot' Stuffing pickle tosspot Lets not leave it now Cussing at my housemates full pubic hair while I'm pissing in the sink And I can't blame the drink Cause the drink don't f..cking think That's supposed to be my job And I'm feeling rather badly at the present (i have no idea whats he's saying at this point)
And right, I moan about the environment Then hardly recycle I catch a cab to practice Cos I'm too damn lazy to cycle Might call makes from BITD But then again, I might just let 'em off lightly And I've still got five f..cking pairs of Nikes!
I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... I'm a...
I'm a hypocrite Right up in the thick of it Weed plus tobacco smoke, sweet like liquorice Look at this Fucking up again, it's unsightly Just like me That's why I have to do the right thing like I was Spike Lee
Baby, I'm a hypocrite Stop asking about Natalie You know I'm f..cking sick of it Paul says they'm a lock me up Well, f..ck it then. Fight me I'm about to go join Richard Whitely