A Very Potter Sequel Harry Freakin' Potter
RON:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
You don't understand
you're a legend, man,
to us all!
Every son and daughter--
RON & THE KIDS: [spoken] "SAFE!"
RON:
... From You-Know-Who,
all because of you!
You were small,
but I wonder if you can recall...
[CHORUS: Oooo...]
RON:
Long story short,
this guy,
[whispered] "Voldemort"
was super cruel...
HARRY:
[spoken] "Voldemort?"
THE KIDS:
[GASP!] "SHHH!!!"
CHORUS: Oooo...]
RON:
... Tried to kill you & your parents,
and this is where it gets intensely cool...
Even though you were a tiny little boy,
you shoulda died but you survived and then destroyed
this evil guy and it's story we enjoy to tell....
RON & THE KIDS:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
We don't prefer Gandalf,
Merlin, or Oz,
You're a whole lot hotter!
With that lighting scar,
you're a superstar to us all!
If we're in trouble we know who to call!
[DANCE BREAK]
RITA SKEETER:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
I wouldn't wince at all,
you're invincible to all harm!
Like betty crocker--
RITA SKEETER & THE KIDS:
[Oooh!]
RITA:
... I wanna eat you up!
No one'll beat you up
with that charm!
Remember, Harry, kid,
you're the Boss,
you're the King,
you're the Bomb!
HARRY:
But this is all so sad,
I mean, my Mom and Dad
were killed, long ago...
THE KIDS:
[Long ago they died!]
HARRY:
... I wanna be psyched,
but being unliked
is all I know...
CHORUS:
[... All he knows, that's why--]
HARRY:
I never thought I'd be a part of such a fate,
an opportunity eleven years late...
I guess it's time for me step up to the plate
and show 'em that I'm something great!
I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!
I'll do what I can
if what you say I am is true!
I can't be bothered
by my awful past,
I've found at last
something I can do,
so it's time I knew
exactly who I am...
I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!
THE KIDS:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
HARRY & THE KIDS
I'm/You're Harry Freakin' Potter--
HARRY:
... And I'm the Man!
THE KIDS:
[Ahhhhhh]
HARRY & THE KIDS:
[spoken] "HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER!"
