Uncle Herman Chiropodist Lyrics

Groucho Marx Uncle Herman Chiropodist

It was a very peculiar family. I had an uncle who was a
chiropodist. He would come to your house, and he had a
small suitcase, and he would cut your toenails for
twenty-five cents. Then he got a job, 'cause there is not
much money in cutting toenails for twenty-five cents. And
it was cold, it was winter, so he got a job setting fire
to hotels in the Catskills.

Then he was so good at this, that they finally
transferred him, and they gave him a job in the
Adirondacks, where they had much bigger hotels to burn
down. He finally wound up in Sing-Sing.