The words are so familiar -
all the same greats, the same mistakes
It doesn't have to be like this.
If you don't make a friend, now
One might make you -
So learn
The gentle art of making enemies
  Don't look so surprised
  Happy birthday...Fucker
  Blow that candle out,
  We're gonna kick you
  (Don't say you're not because you are)
  (Don't say you're not because you are)
  (History tells us that you are)
  (History tells us that you are)
All you need is just one more excuse
You put up one hell of a fight
I wanna hear your very best excuse
Never felt this much alive
  Your day has finally come -
  So wear the hat and do the dance
  And let the suit keep wearing you.
  This year you'll sit and take it
  And you will like it -
  It's the gentle art of making enemies
  I deserve a reward
  Cuz I'm the best fuck that you ever had
  And if I tighten up my hole -
  You may never see the light again
  (There's always an easy way out)
  (There's always an easy way out)
  (You need something wet in your mouth)
  (You need something wet in your mouth)
  Never felt this much alive