It's 3 AM and I'm waiting
for the coffee perculating
in the kettle in the back
And there's no use getting all upset
 about who is degrading who
when there is hockey on the set
Chorus
There's two cops in Tim Hortons
 and I'm just another shit to them
maybe I'm just a good for nothing
but did I have to hear it again?
And they got two blue and whites
parked in the back well out of sight
in the hopes that I won't see
And maybe I'm getting older
a little more fat and slower
but is there any other way to be?
Not like I had better things to do,
they're just wasting my time
And now there's no use getting all upset
about whos degrading who,
When there's crullers to be had.
Honey glazed and jelly filled
Those chocolate sprinkles really fit the bill
 And won't it make those pig-boys mad?